Wanting to remember the whole truth behind my pain

There is just so much on my mind this morning after sleeping out in the cold fresh air. I wonder how children learn about forgiveness and how we as adults learn if we were never taught how to forgive. I taught myself far too long how to forget and now I want to remember so that I can learn the real forgiveness but feel I cannot forgive if I do not know the whole truth of the pain inflicted upon my body and mind from those who were supposed to love me.