i started my new online journal tonight...been thinking alot about life...including my past life...the abuse...i dunno some of it i asked for and it is not right forme tobalme it all on him...i knew it was wrong...i allowed it tohappen...i didnt tell anyone...i still put myself into dangerous situations... i still let others walk all over me...i still cant sya no topeople...i still beleive there is no reason for me to be here...i still beleive that i am no good and never will be either...i od last week...i should have never told my 1and only friend...cause then i would be here...dealing with this emoitional pain that i am going through...dealing with this suffocation i go through day in and day out...fighting the urges of my impulses to cut myself again...if i give into the urges my suffication will go away...butthen it comes back an i need to and begin to cut more and more...so instead i sit here sufficating with my anxiety...feeling like i am dying because i cant breathe knowing i could take care of it bt knowing that i am the one makingthe suffication worse by not cutting...so what do i do...what????????....i sufficate in anguish and anxiety instead...never knowing wether when i passout from being dizzy and unable to breathe wether i will ever wake up...do i care o not really...why should i...why should it matter if i live or die...my life is not worthy or life...someone please take me away...let me got to sleep and never wake up
Read more: http://www.myspace.com/tfischer1979/blog?page=2#ixzz13mCF2uDt
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