More poetry

Another day
Its all the same
Seems just like yesterday
Never knowing what I became
They all walked away
Left me alone
Just wanted them to stay
If they had only known
How much I live in pain
As my life continues down the drain
I have lost the fear
As I no longer care Soon I will not be here

So many people I have known
But yet I still feel all alone
Life has taken its toll
Severly damaging my soul
I will never be whole
I will never be free
All this pain I have buried inside of me
Cant anyone really see
Why wont they just let me be
Let me end all the misery
I dont want to keep just getting by
I just wanna die

So much filth
beneath my skin
buried within my soul
go the secrets still untold
the disgust under my skin
cannot be scrubbed away
nor has it ever faded
disgusted by the filth
that is hidden within
I carve my skin
trying to rid the sin
realizing the dirtiness
will never dissapate
no one really knows nor understands
the damage there is within
as i continue drowning
fading into the darkness
from the dirt beneath my skin

day to day the pain does not really fade
hiding the shame living day to day
wishing it all would fade burying the pain
pushing people away when it becomes too much
I begin to break from all the shame

running through my mind
memories poison me
spinning and racing
remembering where i have been
drowning inside
i am about to fall
dont try to catch me
want my life to end
already dead inside
alone in this world
i continue to crawl
no reason here to live

overwelmed with guilt
i wish i was dead
the pain within
buried by sin
i was betrayed
by my very own mind
just trying to be protected
it could have been anyone
i gave in
let him commit the sin
now i will never win
when will my life begin
or is this just the end

why do i continue to live
why do i even try
why cant i just die
try to let go
try not to tell a living soul
committing suicide is my goal

try to rid myself of the pain
the poison drilled in my brain
the care he gave
sending me to my grave
i remember the first time
i was confused
many thoughts ran through my mind
still feel the confusion inside
continue to tell everyone i am fine
no one for me to confide
the secrets are mine
they stay buried inside
I continue to hide


you think you know me
jus let me be
when will you really see
i will never truly be free
the secrets i hold deep in me
what a relief it would be
if you could really see
then maybe i would feel free

Poetry

Lost
That life I once desired is lost
Lost within the darkness
Buried deep by my heartache
Broken and torn apart

Hopeless
Losing sight of my dreams
All goals have faded from me
There seems theres nothing left
No more desires within
Seems like I am losing the endless fight
There is no end in sight

So many reasons for me to die
not many reasons to stay alive
Tell me why you think life is so good
I sit here and continue to drown
Wanting for my mind just to shut down

Why should I stay another day
When I could leave this world and go away
I desire to take the knife
I desire to take my life

I am the one to blame
There is no reason for me to be here
I hate living with the fear
Fear of never going anywhere
Believing people really care
But yet left here alone in shame

No reasons left besides peoples lies
Now I say my final goodbyes
As I continue to break
Fighting for and wanting more
Wondering what I am still living for

Is it too late
Alls I feel is emptiness
I continue to fall
Without any relief
Feeling so alone
I hide my shame
I keep all my pain
Buried deep inside

Why cant I let it go
I feel so alone
Memories hidden within
Of my life lived full of sin

The pain runs deep
Peace within
Thinking of my lifes end
I have no fear
Knowing my death is near
I have always known
You never cared
I have always known
No one ever really has cared

Tears run down my cheek
As I begin to feel weak
I am done with this fight
Wishing life would end tonight

Wishing my life gone tomorrow
I continue to drown in my sorrow
My life is full of sadness
I have so much madness
No one cares how I feel
What is the fucking big deal
If i do not resist
My desire to cut my wrist

I bleed out my fears
Instead of crying tears
Too many emotions deep inside
I try very hard to hide
All there is within my mind
So many people are blind

I get obsessed
When I am depressed
I dont want to shout
Instead i bleed it out

Thoughts produce more pain
Just playing the waiting game
My life is almost finished
My reasons to live are almost diminished

I felt this way many times before
Now I have decided not to live like this anymore
I have lost the fear
I decided I no longer care
I do not have to suffer with strife
Now that I am going to take my life

So many things I cannot say
All the things I must keep inside everyday
Wondering what my life has became
Knowing where I came from
realizing I will never be free
From the pain I live with that no one can see