ER Handout 9: "Mindfulness of Your Current Emotion
OBSERVE YOUR EMOTION
NOTE its presence
Step BACK
Get UNSTUCK from the emotion
EXPERIENCE YOUR EMOTION
As a WAVE, coming and going
Try not to BLOCK emotion
Try not to SUPPRESS emotion
Don't try to GET RID of emotion
Don't PUSH it away
Don't try to KEEP emotion around
Don't HOLD ON to it
Don't AMPLIFY it
REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT YOUR EMOTION
Do not necessarily ACT on your emotion.
Remember times when you have felt DIFFERENT
PRACTICE LOVING YOUR EMOTION
Don't JUDGE your emotion. Practice WILLINGNESS
Radically ACCEPT your emotion"
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
DT Handout 5
DT Handout 5: "WILLINGNESS
Cultivate a WILLING response to each situation
Willingness is doing just what is needed in each situation, in an unpretentious way. It is focusing on effectiveness.
Willingness is listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, acting from your inner self.
Willingness is becoming aware of your connection to the universe - to the earth, to the floor you are standing on, to the chair you are sitting on, to the person you are talking to.
Ask yourself, in 5 years from now, will the situation that causes the distress matter?
WILLFULNESS
Willfulness is like sitting on your hands when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed.
Willfulness causes you to fight any suggestions that will improve the distress and thus make it more tolerable.
Willfulness is giving up.
It is the opposite of doing what works, of being effective. Willfulness is trying to fix every situation or refusing to tolerate the distressful moment."
Cultivate a WILLING response to each situation
Willingness is doing just what is needed in each situation, in an unpretentious way. It is focusing on effectiveness.
Willingness is listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, acting from your inner self.
Willingness is becoming aware of your connection to the universe - to the earth, to the floor you are standing on, to the chair you are sitting on, to the person you are talking to.
Ask yourself, in 5 years from now, will the situation that causes the distress matter?
WILLFULNESS
Willfulness is like sitting on your hands when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed.
Willfulness causes you to fight any suggestions that will improve the distress and thus make it more tolerable.
Willfulness is giving up.
It is the opposite of doing what works, of being effective. Willfulness is trying to fix every situation or refusing to tolerate the distressful moment."
DT Handout 5
DT Handout 5: "RADICAL ACCEPTANCE
Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE FROM DEEP WITHIN.
It is allowing yourself to go completely with whatever the situation is. Let go of fighting reality.
ACCEPTANCE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF HELL WHICH MUST NOT BE INTERPRETED AS APPROVAL OF THE DISTRESSFUL SITUATION
Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to ACCEPT the pain.
Deciding to tolerate the moment is ACCEPTANCE.
ACCEPTANCE is acknowledging what is.
To accept something is not the same as judging it to be good.
By stopping your self from fighting, the rage or anger you feel will dissipate as long as you continue to accept your condition or your faulty perceptions to events or interpersonal communications difficulties. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when you are able to accept."
Freedom from suffering requires ACCEPTANCE FROM DEEP WITHIN.
It is allowing yourself to go completely with whatever the situation is. Let go of fighting reality.
ACCEPTANCE IS THE ONLY WAY OUT OF HELL WHICH MUST NOT BE INTERPRETED AS APPROVAL OF THE DISTRESSFUL SITUATION
Pain creates suffering only when you refuse to ACCEPT the pain.
Deciding to tolerate the moment is ACCEPTANCE.
ACCEPTANCE is acknowledging what is.
To accept something is not the same as judging it to be good.
By stopping your self from fighting, the rage or anger you feel will dissipate as long as you continue to accept your condition or your faulty perceptions to events or interpersonal communications difficulties. You will be amazed at how much better you will feel when you are able to accept."
Mf Handout 1
Mf Handout 1: "Reason Mind
This is your rational, thinking, logical mind
It plans and evaluates things logically.
It is your 'cool' part.
Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.
It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.
It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don't feel good.
You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point 'A' to point 'B'"
This is your rational, thinking, logical mind
It plans and evaluates things logically.
It is your 'cool' part.
Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.
It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.
It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don't feel good.
You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point 'A' to point 'B'"
Mf Handout 1
Mf Handout 1: "Reason Mind
States of Mind
Reason Mind
This is your rational, thinking, logical mind
It plans and evaluates things logically.
It is your "cool" part.
Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.
It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.
It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don't feel good.
You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point "A" to point "B"
Emotion Mind
This describes times when your emotions are out of control -- times when emotions are what influence or control your thinking and behavior.
Emotional Mind can also be very beneficial.
Emotions are what motivate us to action.
Emotions are what keep us attached to others and building relationships.
Emotion Mind can be aggravated by:
Illness, Lack Of Sleep, Tiredness, Drugs, Alcohol, Hungry, Bloating, Overeating, Poor nutrition and/or lack of exercise, Environmental stress and threats
Both Emotion and Reasonable Mind Are Equally Important And Valuable
Reasonable mind gives you a way to solve your problems.
Emotion mind gives you a reason (motivation) to want to solve them.
Wise Mind
Wise mind is the integration of emotional and reasonable mind.
You cannot overcome or control emotional mind with reasonable mind.
You cannot create emotion mind with reason.
You must go within and integrate these two states of mind.
Wise mind is that part of each person that can know and experience truth.
It is where the person knows something to be true or valid.
It is where the person knows something in a centered (balanced) way.
It is almost always quiet and calm in this part of the mind.
Wise Mind - An Analogy for Wise Mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water is at the bottom of the well. The entire underground is an ocean called Wise Mind. But on the way down, there are often trap doors that stop progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you actually believe that there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut and you need a hammer. Perhaps it is glued shut and you need a chisel.
Everyone Has A Wise Mind!
Some people have simply never experienced it.
No one is in Wise Mind all of the time.
Emotion and Wise Mind; Confusing The Two
Emotional mind and Wise mind both have a quality of "feeling" something to be true.
Intense emotions can generate feelings of certainty that mimic the Wise mind.
Like in a well, after a heavy storm, water can collect on a trap door within the well. You may then confuse the still water on the trap door with the deep ocean at the bottom of the well.
Wise mind is in your heart (emotions) and in you head (reason). Certainty comes from both.
States of Mind
Reason Mind
This is your rational, thinking, logical mind
It plans and evaluates things logically.
It is your "cool" part.
Reasonable Mind can be very beneficial.
It is easier to be in Reasonable Mind when you feel good.
It is much harder to be in Reasonable Mind when you don't feel good.
You Would Use Your Reasonable Mind To:
Build a bridge
Figure out how to double a recipe
Balance your checkbook
Figure out the fastest way from point "A" to point "B"
Emotion Mind
This describes times when your emotions are out of control -- times when emotions are what influence or control your thinking and behavior.
Emotional Mind can also be very beneficial.
Emotions are what motivate us to action.
Emotions are what keep us attached to others and building relationships.
Emotion Mind can be aggravated by:
Illness, Lack Of Sleep, Tiredness, Drugs, Alcohol, Hungry, Bloating, Overeating, Poor nutrition and/or lack of exercise, Environmental stress and threats
Both Emotion and Reasonable Mind Are Equally Important And Valuable
Reasonable mind gives you a way to solve your problems.
Emotion mind gives you a reason (motivation) to want to solve them.
Wise Mind
Wise mind is the integration of emotional and reasonable mind.
You cannot overcome or control emotional mind with reasonable mind.
You cannot create emotion mind with reason.
You must go within and integrate these two states of mind.
Wise mind is that part of each person that can know and experience truth.
It is where the person knows something to be true or valid.
It is where the person knows something in a centered (balanced) way.
It is almost always quiet and calm in this part of the mind.
Wise Mind - An Analogy for Wise Mind is like a deep well in the ground. The water is at the bottom of the well. The entire underground is an ocean called Wise Mind. But on the way down, there are often trap doors that stop progress. Sometimes the trap doors are so cleverly built that you actually believe that there is no water at the bottom of the well. The trap door may look like the bottom of the well. Perhaps it is locked and you need a key. Perhaps it is nailed shut and you need a hammer. Perhaps it is glued shut and you need a chisel.
Everyone Has A Wise Mind!
Some people have simply never experienced it.
No one is in Wise Mind all of the time.
Emotion and Wise Mind; Confusing The Two
Emotional mind and Wise mind both have a quality of "feeling" something to be true.
Intense emotions can generate feelings of certainty that mimic the Wise mind.
Like in a well, after a heavy storm, water can collect on a trap door within the well. You may then confuse the still water on the trap door with the deep ocean at the bottom of the well.
Wise mind is in your heart (emotions) and in you head (reason). Certainty comes from both.
Sunday, December 6, 2009
update
Recently I been having a lot of life changes including losing a friend I had been having difficulties with but yet was unable to be assertive enough and stick up for myself with her because I was afraid to lose her as I did not really have any local friends that were healthy for me mentally. Well now, that friendship is gone. However, I have gained new friends and I think that was part of losing the old one, as she may have been jealous since I was not spending all my time with her. Nevertheless, anyways my new friends have been great. They have helped me emotionally and allow me someone to vent to. It is difficult though since many of the issues I am having are with people who also are their friends and my family. Therefore, it is difficult for my new friends to really comment because they do not want to be in the middle of family issues or drama. I hate being involved with drama and feel it is complicating and overly distressing to be involved in. I try to be a good friend to people and try to help whoever I can but it is difficult since the person I try to help just uses me in my opinion but because they married into the family I feel obligated to help and help and help even when it seems they do not appreciate anything I do and only want to cause trouble and drama. I hate my situation right now but feel my hands are tied. I feel as if I am going to break down but I am trying to stay strong and just deal with the shit because the person is young and needs a chance to grow up on her own but I feel she acts entitled to my kindness and does not really care how her actions affect me. Therefore, why do I continue to allow this I am not sure but I feel it is coming to a breaking point? When I lose my new friends over this, I know I will snap. I also cannot stand feeling trapped and unable to say anything to get support and that is how I feel lately because I am not sure who I can trust and who is really out to hurt me and bring me down. Sending me right into the hospital and lose my son forever. Well this is what is happening most recently. Feedback is welcome as I am looking for some help and suggestions.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
update
well it has been a long time since I have written. The reason being is not that I have had nothing to write about or say but it is because I have been very busy building my life the way I desire it to be. my life that I am hoping someday will be a life worth living. at the moment I am schooling and have my son living with me. I also have been doing fairly well. I am still no longer in DBT but can pretty much say I am constantly using my skills even if I have not been consciously using them.
I have had an idea recently regarding asking the new mental health walk in center if I could possibly lead a peer run DBT support group as a volunteer. I am afraid of asking only because I am afraid of be let down by getting an answer of no and feeling as if I am not good enough to do it even though I have the knowledge to do it I have not been consistently stable in my own life for very long so I am afraid they may say no for fear I will fall down.
I have had an idea recently regarding asking the new mental health walk in center if I could possibly lead a peer run DBT support group as a volunteer. I am afraid of asking only because I am afraid of be let down by getting an answer of no and feeling as if I am not good enough to do it even though I have the knowledge to do it I have not been consistently stable in my own life for very long so I am afraid they may say no for fear I will fall down.
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